Note: I debated for a while about putting this up, it’s very ranty and a bit personal, so you are forwarned. And the title has nothing to do with drinking, it was the only thing I could think of that had the word “Officer” in it.
Okay, I have a confession to make to you guys: I’m insane. I must be, or why else would I want to be a Guild Officer? Not just a guild officer, I seem to always want to be in charge. From being a counselor at camp, to co-capitan of my colorguard team back in High School, to (hopefully) becoming a manager at work, if I’m not in charge I want to be. My little sister would at this point say “It’s because you’re a bossy know it all, Kate.” (Why would she call me Phea? She would rather lay in a tanning bed than play on a computer. Ah, the variety of one gene pool…) and my mother would promptly agree.
Personally, I like to think it’s because I have a lot of good ideas and I want to help people, and my guild out, especially now that we’re going through such a hard time. Said hard time will be explained in a post later. However, in every guild I have been raiding in I keep getting stonewalled by one thing:
Your boyfriend is already an officer, and we don’t do the whole “couples leading” thing.
I swear to goodness, if you could have said one thing other than “HEALS!!11!!” to make me extremely mad in about two seconds that would be it. Punch and I have been playing together for over a year now. We enjoy raiding, it’s what we do, and I’m not one of those girlfriends who doesn’t know her class and expects to be carried through raids because her honey-bunches thinks its fun to kill dragons and I want to spend time with my sweetums.
To be blunt: Screw you!
I don’t want to have anything to do with raid leading. Goodness knows I can’t explain a fight to anyone else but me (well, at least verbally), and I’m tired of hearing a cacophony of voices after a wipe, from people who want to talk over the actual raid leaders. I’m more everyday management. I like to write posts about how things could have gone better (duh, I write on here don’t I?), manage who has gotten loot, and talk to people about their problems. Here my sister would step in and say: “It’s because you’re nosey, Kate, that’s why you keep that annoying girl on your facebook so you can make fun of her statuses about how she hates everyone.” Well, even if that’s true, I believe I’m a good listener and problem solver, although I’m much more–hmm, how do I say this…understanding? Mushy? All of us sit around the campfire and sing and roast marshmallows? Okay, that works.– than the other guild leaders are. Also, lists are my friends. I make three or four lists every time I go on vacation just because I like to. I’m well organized and when I can’t get on WoW I lurk on the guild website and find things to post about, or re-write.
To make an annalogy about it: I don’t want to be the First Lady who sits back and lets her Husband to all the politicking. I want to be right in the thick of things, sharing my opinions, making changes. Basicly, I want to be Hilary Clinton, with much less pant suits. And minus Bill’s skirt chasing ways.
Even if none of this made me a good officer, don’t automatically discount me because I’m a girl, or because I’m dating another officer. By having a blanket statement that everyone who is dating someone cannot have a significant other as an officer you could be vastly limiting your talent pool, creating resentment, or generally offending people. Some of the most successful guilds, or even the most fun, are run by couples who understand how to deal with differences of opinion and not freak when the other doesn’t agree with them.
However, I can understand the fears these guys have. If there are two officers who are dating on a loot council it could seem like the loot system could be skewed. Punch already voluntarily sits out on any loot I roll for, and I can’t imagine trying to be in on something like that for him. I wouldn’t want that stress in my relationship or on the guild, because I don’t always agree he should get the pieces he wants.
I spoke with our new Guild Master last night about my concerns. I basically told him I plan to put a lot of my time and work outside of raiding into this guild to bring us back up to where we were, we need more officers because I don’t want to see our raiders burning out because they have to much stress on their shoulders with their lives and now all this that has been thrust upon them, and if I’m wasting my time working more than the average person towards making this guild great let me know now because I’m not going to dump all my efforts and not see any return on it besides a “Good job.” I plan to stick around here as long as the guild is functioning, and I don’t want to be disappointed because people see me as a “She’s here because her boyfriend is” raider, and not as someone they can respect otherwise. Thankfully, he agreed with me (Haha, now reading that I realize I kinda sound like a bitch, but it’s what had to be said. I don’t deal well with being strung along, and the number of times I got told in Roxbury that I was going to be considered for an officer very soon and then being ignored for a few months, created a great sense of caution in me when getting involved with a project like this).However, he let me know that, unfortunately, I was going to have to make more of an effort than a regular raider who would be considered because of peoples concerns about my relationship and the stings that comes with. That is definitely not a problem, and there are some couples out there I would never want to see become officers together, or raid leaders.
I’m off to a good start: I suggested we get non-officer loot council members in the voting so that raiders don’t feel that the officers are rigging votes for their favorites, and getting more opinions on who the piece is better for. The GM happily accepted this idea, and we were all told to think about who we wanted in the council, my own ideas included. I like how I’m always in officer meetings, but never an officer. Punch and I laugh about that after logging off vent after one of these meetings.
Hopefully this won’t all blow up in my face, and I can change people’s minds about girlfriends in a raiding guild. If not, all I ask is honesty so that I can be realistic about my expectations and not be jerked around.