A note to LFG DPS

I have learned in the past few days of LFG madness two things: 1) If my ret set out DPSs you, you have a problem and 2) clearly most DPS have no idea how to heal, how to play a healer, or what the different types of healers can do. I say most, because there are the slim margin of people who understand healing and happen to be playing on their DPS character.

*Note: This has got my nerdrage going

I have a love hate relationship with caster DPS. For one, I really do like playing them and sometimes playing with them (i.e. SPriests, Mages, Locks), however I find that the majority of people fall into two categories:

E-Peen loving jerks whose sole purpose is to make me explode when they stand in fire and yell about not getting heals

Well meaning players who don’t do the top DPS but still stand in fire

Something about fire and not moving seems to appeal to casters.

My Pit of Saron group the other day consisted of an AFK DK, a mage, a hunter, a paladin tank who had never done the instance before, and myself. The tank asks politely what he should do since he’s never done the instance before. I’m thinking, alright this guy doesn’t seem so bad, at least he’s asking how to do it instead of blindly charging in. Everyone has decent gear scores…what the hell is that DK doing?

For fifteen minutes I tried to /vote kick the AFK jerk. And couldn’t. I don’t know why, or how but the Blizzard glitch stars aligned so that not one of us could initiate a vote kick against the guy until his random dungeon debuff was gone. In the meantime the mage is telling the tank what to do with very little patience and very little use of grammar:

“go here

pick these ones up *marks a few, like the tank asked, and then subsequently forgets to mark for the rest of the run*”

Now I wouldn’t have such a problem with such abrupt directions if the mage didn’t feel that ALL of the group had no idea what we were doing. Now I’ll admit, your health will hover a little lower during the Forgmaster boss fight because of the LoS mechanic that makes my life hell. You need to dip behind the rocks to get rid of the debuffs but YOU CANNOT STAND BEHIND THEM THE ENTIRE FIGHT! Even if they didn’t disappear after a while 1) It prevents you from doing damage which makes the fight go on longer, and 2) You will never get heals because I’m trying to keep the tank alive which means I’m not behind a rock (and, p.s.,  DPS are always last priority for heals. Tank >Myself > DPS). It also does not help that, while you are out of line of sight, you decide to sit there and type out the maddening phrase “HEALS!!”

Oh. My. God.

That makes me want to kick you from the group no matter what kind of DPS you’re doing. That is rude and clearly shows you have no understanding of what other players need to be doing during a fight. Whether we’re in a raid or a  5-man, yelling “Heals” will put you on my hate list for all eternity. My cast times, as of now, range from an instant cast heal that I can use once every six seconds, a 1.1 cast heal that will heal you from between 5k-10k and a 1.9 (ish) cast heal that will heal you between 12k-22k (approx). None of this means anything when you’re out of LoS, I’m running from adds, or trying to LoS myself. I understand that it can be frustrating when you don ‘t get heals. I know, ice blocking causes your DPS to drop. But it is never ever, never ever EVER, appropriate to yell out “HEALS” during a fight. I KNOW you’re dying. Trust me, my grid is letting me know and my healer senses are tingling. I’m doing everything I can to keep you alive, but I cannot stop you from being an idiot and not understanding how healers work.

And the cherry on top? I (very nicely for how pissed I was) explained that while you are out of LoS I cannot heal you, so if you would like heals then you need to come closer to me, and would you please not yell out “Heals” during the fight because all it does it frustrate me because I already know you need heals? I was so sure he was going to apologize and everything was going to be fine. Instead?

“wakes the healer up in my opinion”




Filed under LFG

5 responses to “A note to LFG DPS

  1. Windsoar

    Totally worth a nerd-rage moment. Nothing gets a player on my ignore list faster than yelling “HEALZ!”

  2. Mondka

    How is icc going?

  3. It’s alright, we’re going back in tonight to try and kill saurfang and the Plagueworks.

    How’s skiing?

  4. Pingback: Officer, I swear to drunk I’m not God. «

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